tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5641117771707843067.post5061421750270366822..comments2024-02-05T15:01:44.563-05:00Comments on Cleveland Poetics: a place for cleveland's writers and readers: Blind Review Fridaymichael salingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14717310933948991992noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5641117771707843067.post-86535584268905234472008-09-01T13:43:00.000-04:002008-09-01T13:43:00.000-04:00This is cool! The early repetition of torn tends t...This is cool! The early repetition of torn tends to draw one into the poem. Tearing the "lucid" (excellent word choice here), onomatopoeic call from the whippoorwill in the first line allows that call to echo through the rest of the piece. The repetition of that first line later, and its use as the final line, becomes quite effective. <BR/><BR/>And, the powerful, semi-surrealistic phrases (like "asphalt grinding," and the "pouring of thunder down the throat") effectively colors foreboding, apocalyptic tone of the piece. <BR/><BR/>I also like the way each line pulls you into the next. Excellent.<BR/><BR/>And, on a related note check out "Call of the Whippoorwill at Twilight" by Margie Riddle Bearss:<BR/>http://battleofchampionhill.org/vignettes/whippoorwill.htmJ.E. Stanleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00997013651466209143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5641117771707843067.post-77390982490849763262008-08-29T11:37:00.000-04:002008-08-29T11:37:00.000-04:00I think it just sounds angsty, and it doesn't move...I think it just sounds angsty, and it doesn't move out of that angsty mood to take the piece anywhere.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5641117771707843067.post-69047403548968613512008-08-23T12:40:00.000-04:002008-08-23T12:40:00.000-04:00To me it is too abstract. Where are the whippoorwi...To me it is too abstract. Where are the whippoorwills? How have they made these effects? Do they live in the backyard while a marraige suffers? The first stanzas are floral as cheap perfume. I wouldn't have read on if this was in a book.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5641117771707843067.post-76414678947384761982008-08-22T10:50:00.000-04:002008-08-22T10:50:00.000-04:00absolutely lovely. only thing that bothers me is t...absolutely lovely. only thing that bothers me is the initial use of "torn three times in a row and "under" twice in a row. Fresh language. Lovely images. Progression. I also wonder where the "we" comes from. An unselfconscious poem then the author seems to interject a "me and you" us kind of universality in the middle of it. This rocks for me!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com