Blind Review Friday.The author shall remain anonymous (unless they chose to divulge themselves in the comments.)
Those commenting are also welcome to remain anonymous if they wish.
Incendiary comments will be removed.
If you would like your piece thrown to the wolves send it to salinger@ameritech.net with "Workshop the hell out of this poem" as the subject line.
Last week's basketball piece was written by Yusef Komunyakaa.
This week's offfering is from a Clevelandpoetics - the Blog reader:
TOUCH THIS
you can touch me
if you want
I won't burst into flame
or into tears
you can touch me
to see if I'm real
to see if
I'm the genuine article
I won't shudder or
tremble or flinch
I won't melt like
the Wicked Witch did
when water touched her
and I won't turn into
gold, or stone, or salt
I won't faint
you can touch me
if you want
pretend you're God
and I'm Adam
Michaelangelo's
index finger stretching
out to give the gift
of eternal life
or pretend you're
the Pope, bestowing
his papal blessing
or pretend
you're Tinkerbell, or ET
and touch me with
a glowing wand or
fingertip, your touch
a gift to me both
magical and mystical
you can touch me
and convince yourself
I'm silk, satin, velvet
soft, smooth, sleek
unflawed
unlawfully unwrinkled
and altogether here
you can touch me
this skin I wear
like armor
like a shroud
but you can never
ever
touch my
heart
3 comments:
I liked this poem. But I think the line breaks made it harder to read. Try writing it in a prose form and feel it out that way. The imagery of the the different fingers, ET, Michelangelo's painting, were good. I like how you have them all in one poem. I think you have found the essence of what many are trying to say and what most of us want. The title sounds like it's supposed to be funny, which it could, but I feel a sense of urgency and seriousness in this poem and the title might need to reflect that. Good stuff.
-tg
on reading it again, I can feel the jerkiness in the line breaks might actually work for the poem. I hear the lyrical tugs. Again, I like it, and am now torn if it should be more of a prose or not. Thanks.
-tg
Good poem! I go to a lot of readings, and I must confess I've heard this read. Having heard this poem before seeing it, I find the line breaks here to be almost superfluous. They add a dimension to my experience of the poem - create other interpretive possibilities. But as much as I like this piece on the page, I might like it even better read live by its author.
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