I'm a proponent of workshops. But I'm not sure that they're doing Emily Dickinson good in this critique.
Still, I guess Miss Emily wasn't completely hopeless:
"I'd like to see you bring this through the workshop again."
Always end with encouragement, that's it.
But still, in another critique, she should pay attention about correct fonts-- handwritten just doesn't do it. And,
"Almost all of your writing is about death. Could you lighten up? ...your self-esteem needs a boost. Have you thought about therapy, Em?"