We are now halfway through the renga
(to see the opening stanzas, click here for part one, and click here for part two).
Anyone can join in! To contribute, add your stanza to the comments!
eleven roses -- heart pierced
by thorns of the absent stem
a sidewalk crevice
in the cracked city concrete:
a purple thistle
feeble is the gardener
who tends to our pavement fields
whispered words fall blind
pavement ends where waves begin
Erie's shore purring
the lake's syntax -- like driftwood,
baring its truth in silence
steam rises
from the wet sidewalk
her broken English
freejazz punk noise rock music
blasts out of the clubs and bars
modern dancers spin
Pirate's Cove weaves siroccos
bright Pere Ubu night
freighter glides silently;
radio plays blue velvet
the night's ballet--
adagio of river and bridges
sailors delight
wind scuds leaf-sail galleons
stars drown: chilly ecstasy
one ship left, seeking
the safe harbor of the moon
before it, too, dies
a shred of light left to hold
-but inadequate; I fear for this anchor
waves reflect gold, bronze,
or ash floating like soot
where her hopes burned, capsized, sank
exploded like the helm
of the Titanic on ice
slashed open
listing to the right
falling in love again
- Renga are poems which alternate three line verses in haiku format (5-7-5) with two line verses (7-7).
- Each verse links to the previous verse, but not to verses before that.
To add a stanza, go on to part 4
Background info:
16 comments:
feeble is the gardener
who tends to our pavement fields
whispered words fall blind
pavement ends where waves begin
Erie's shore purring
(Miranda Macondios)
the lake's syntax -- like driftwood,
baring its truth in silence
steam rises
from the wet sidewalk
her broken English
freejazz punk noise rock music
blasts out of the clubs and bars
modern dancers spin
Pirate's Cove weaves siroccos
bright Pere Ubu night
(Miranda Macondios)
Freighter silent: on the dock
radio plays modern dance
the night's ballet-
adagio of river and bridges
sailors delight
wind scuds leaf-sail galleons
stars drown: chilly ecstasy
one ship left, seeking
the safe harbor of the moon
before it, too, dies
(Geoff: only if you like it and think it fits)
a shred of light left
to hold -but inadequate
I fear
For this anchor
Hi, Dyanna--
Thanks! Since J.E. Stanley contributed a three-line stanza, your stanza needs to be a two-line stanza, preferably two lines of seven syllables. I put your verse into two lines, but the second line is a bit long, at eleven syllables. Can you rewrite it shorter?
I'm not strict about syllable count, but eleven is pushing it a little more than I'd prefer. (One way to shorten it would be to cut the word "inadequate")
As a bonus, since this verse closes the second section of the renga, the same poet is allowed to write the next verse, which starts the final section. So, if you want, you can also contribute the next verse, three lines.
waves reflect gold, bronze, or ash
floating like soot
where her hopes burned, capsized, sank
The most recent line (verse 32!) is contributed by Wanda Sobieska at the Deep Cleveland reading.
We are now closing in on the end of the renga! The Kasen form is exactly 36 verses, and we are now well into the kyu, the closing page of six stanza.
There is one more 3-line stanza with no season, followed by a 2-line stanza that is either no season, or else turns us to spring (the kasen renga starts in fall, ends in spring). Then we will have hana no za, a verse of spring flowers (in Japanese, this means cherry blossoms, but in America, we're not quite so specific about which spring flowers), and then ageku, the final verse, still spring, which cycles back to reference the first verse and wraps it up.
So don't give up! Four verses to go...
Link and Shift: a Practical Guide to Renku
slashed open
listing to the right
falling in love again
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